New Years Resolution

As per usual, I am attempting a new years resolution. 

And here is hoping that this one sticks.

I didn't want to do anything like stop eating bad food (which I know I will do) or stop drinking (come on, be serious) or become tidier (it is organised chaos thank you!) so decided that this year I am going to attempt to take a photo a day for a year. I will be posting my photo with a little snippet on my twitter account which is:

@Gardner2Charlie

In the mean time though, here is a little ditty for the year to come

2013, what a toughy
You have been a royal hard nut to crack
Some sober days and parties forgotten
Alcohol--- these are nights I shall never get back

Lots of pictures stored away
Both in memory and online
Gig's I have gone to, new things experienced 
But nothing that Jessie J had signed

Friends come and go I quickly discovered
I guess it's just change of path
Jobs I did seek and one came along
But in 2014, is anyone needing staff??

Here's to the future, this year will be good
I starting it by going to the states
And when I get back, it's off to the pub
To spend quality time with some mates

This year will be wicked, I shall take it all in my stride 
Who knows what is around the bend
2014, you are mine for the taking
See you on the other side, The End!

Happy New Year everyone :) 

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house....

People were making a complete and utter mess!! 

Christmas Eve in our household is usually a time where the entire village comes over to eat copious amounts of food, drink excessive amounts of alcohol and have a jolly good time. This year was no exception! 

This year was a smaller crowd of both sets of grandparents, my aunt and uncle with their 4 kids, our next door neighbor, a friend from down the road with her daughter and some old family friends with their 2 kids as well....yep small crowd.

After the food is consumed, we tend to sit around having a good old gossip and a catch up until someone utters those famous words of "Santa will be here soon, we should get going" 

I don't know about anyone else but this still excites me and gets me jumping about like a hyperactive child. I would like to point out that I am the older sister but when it comes to Christmas EVERYONE thinks I am the younger of the two. Not going to lie, still put out a carrot and mince pie for when Father Christmas arrives!! 

Over the last few years I have been one of Santa's little helpers and put presents under the tree. Last year it was a bit of a shock and I didn't really know how to deal with things, thinking it would spoil the magic of Christmas but it actually excites me more as I get to see what the tree looks like before going to bed and....oh dear Mum, mistake number 1, I will not sleep tonight, in fact, this year I spent a good half an hour sending silly videos of myself to one of my best friends....she was in the same position! I know our parents were thinking "Damn kids!"

Until next year my friends....Merry Christmas!

Oh Christmas Tree

So as of late, I haven't had much time to get a blog up, busy bee that I am. But now I have a good one for you. My family tree...

Like everyone, we have our own specific way of doing Christmas, and one of them is our tree. It is a very special tree, with a lot of memories on it, both sad and happy and seeing as it is now December, and people are starting to allow themselves to celebrate Christmas, I thought I would tell you all about how the decorating side of things works in my family;

To start with, mum and dad spend a good hour putting our 12ft tree into an 11ft space in the living room--- first the end is chopped off, put into the pot and screwed tightly in....

Dad "Is it straight?"
Mum "It needs to go left a bit"
Dad "Better?"
Mum "Your other left...."
Dad *grumble grumble*

Then comes to lights. As everyone knows, the lights MUST be checked before we put them up.

Dad "Can you find me a new bulb please?"
Mum "Where are they?"
Dad "In the same box we have put them in for 15 years..."
Mum "Which is where exactly?"
Dad "In the box which says 'lights'...."

We then start to wind them up and down the tree in a VERY specific way. As we all take a point around the tree, my lovely little sister decides its time to 'take a break' aka play on her phone

Mum "I can't reach"
Dad "hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go..."
Mum "shut up"

Lights are firmly in place and adjusted accordingly so the angel will 'have one up her bum' and next comes out the decorations....in an order.... 

Mum "These were the first ever decorations...."
Boo and I "...that your Dad and I got on our first Christmas together. Yes we know Mum, you tell us every year"

We then all proceed to tell stories of each decoration that goes on the tree with the accompanied 

"Which holiday was this one?"
And
"Aww I remember when we got these!"
And best of all...
Dad "Charlie, step ladder is ready, time to put the angel on top"

For as long as I can remember I have put the angel on the tree and I will hopefully be doing this for the rest of my life, there are some things I never want to change.

Like I said, everyone has their own special way of doing Christmas, but I hope you enjoy the stories that are to follow about my Christmas lead up and the merriness on it's way and maybe even a picture or two if you're lucky!! Keep smiling!

A Positive Spin

So over the last week or so I haven't quite been myself; been a little down about things that have been going on around me and last night, when I realised I am being a miserable cow, I decided to make a pact with myself.

I need to stop caring so much about what is going on around me, worrying about what will happen and start focusing on the now, the time I have each day and treating it like it should be treated, this moment, this second, will never come again so I am going to pack up my troubles in my old kit bag and smile, smile, smile!

I think it is to do with the weather---the rain doesn't bother me, not really. I love rain in the sun as it creates the most spectacular scenery but when its grey and foggy and raining...I can't quite hack that! This morning I woke up to the sun rising and sending light and warmth all around my room as it danced off the many mirrors I have. I looked out to see the park covered in ice and the morning rays make them look like millions of crystals that sent the morning off to  a damn good sparkle.

So here it is, my pact to myself--- stop caring so much. Throw away any thoughts that will get you negative and start every day with the knowledge that you will acheive something, whether that be to make someone smile, to make a scarf or to go bungey jumping. I am going to acheieve something every day and make life a little brighter in the darker months. Today I am going to buy my first mince pie and start december early :)

Here's To The Start Of Christmas

I know I am mighty early for the build up to Christmas but I just had to share a wonderful experience with you all.

I went to see Nutcracker on Ice at The Palladium Theatre in Oxford Circus. For me, it had the spirit of Christmas down to a T....on Halloween. It had moments of pure beauty, hilarity (granted, this was NOT a funny part but had us in stitches all the same---will explain later) and the true spirit of Christmas.

As the curtain went up, I could feel an excited tension coursing through me, feet jiggling madly and a massive grin on my face. To start with; I love ballet, love ice skating and love theatre so this had the potential to make my day from the off set. The music flowed over the audience in a beautiful wave of elegance and the scene of mice dancing around outside of a mansion set the play in motion. Children throwing snowballs and snow falling all around them made my heart skip a beat or two in anticipation of the next few months, the build up to Christmas.

The costumes were, as a whole, lovely. They really worked well for the skaters to move with a beautiful flow around them mixed with a real elegance and splashes of colour. The set was simple yet effective, the use of props helped create most scenes. The lighting looked simple as well but gave the stage a magical feel overall so in my eyes was perfectly beautiful (I know nothing about lighting but there you go).

So, the moment of hilarity? Let me take you back a few months to Edinburgh Fringe. As I have mentioned before in 'The Man Who Never Rests', Magic spent most of his sleep talking. One of these mornings when we were all sat around, Magic still asleep, he started to shoot air guns going 'gaboo, gaboo'. Naturally we all found this hilarious and it became a ritual before every show to air gun a 'Gaboogles' at each other. Now, in this show, an entire dance seemed to be dedicated to our lovely little 'Gaboogles' and every time they put their fingers up in the air gun, Magic (who came and watched it with me) and I were laughing so hard and silently that the chairs were shaking quite violently and tears were streaming down both of our faces. This was not amusing to the older couple in front of us, but hell, we LOVED it!!

This show was just beautiful and we came out of the theatre, champagne in our bellies and the spirit of Christmas in the air, laughing and joking and practically skipping home. with huge grins on our faces and the anticipation of Christmas lingering in our hearts. Happy smiles all around me right now, couldn't be happier!

A Day At The Hospital

A day in the life of me and something will happen that I feel the need to write about. Just having my drugs (perfectly legal I may add) pumped into the old bod whilst sat at the hospital, drinking a cuppa, nice and relaxed, feet propped up and book in hand when all of a sudden the damn fire alarm goes off..... In a hospital.

 

I always wondered what would happen if such a thing happened and guess what; No one moves from their beds or seats, they don't even flinch, they sit there with their feet still aloft and books still in hand and wait to be told what to do.

 

This shocks me massively!! The nurses were unsure of how to handle the situation, running round the floor like headless chickens, checking where we had to go, what they had to do and then something strange happened. A bubble of laughter starts to build in my chest, I try to hold it down but no, I get a fit of the giggles. Most people look at me like I'm mad (maybe I am, who knows) and at the precise moment of my giggle-bubble popping the nurses return and instead of getting us all out of the building, we are told to stay seated and wait it out!! Haha this is the most unbelievable thing I have ever heard.

 

"The fire brigade are here, don't worry, it's not this room, it's next door, no need to panic" umm WHAT??? Don't panic?? Something is burning!!! Next door!!! I'm definitely a little concerned!! But all I can do is laugh hysterically into a pillow and hope everyone doesn't see an insane lady laughing like a deranged patient at the idea of burning on the 3rd floor of a hospital.

 

Today is a funny day 

The Beauty Of Autumn

There are some moments in life that you wish you could take a photographic memory of and store it away but one that creeps back every so often to just put a smile on your face. Today I had one of said moments....

I think autumn is such an under rated time of year. The fashion is wonderful, the weather is beautiful and the colours and smells that surround you are such of great fulfillment. As I was driving up to Loughborough today, I was hit by a sudden bought of rain and once it cleared I was greeted by a pure blue sky, brilliant sunshine and the most astonishing sight in front of me which really took me by surprise. As cars drove past me they were spraying water up from the road and as the sun hit the tiny droplets of water, the most gorgeous close up rainbows appeared, one for each car that drove past. 

To make this picture even more beautiful, the autumnal colours of the trees; golden yellow, burnt orange, deep red, leaves were being blown into the road in front of me and the cars that went past swirled them up into a hurricane of fire and settling back down peacefully and gracefully, turning like a spinning ballarina before being swirled up again into a frenzy.

I could watch the autumn weather all day. This is a memory I hope I will keep safe with me forever. I hope I did the picture justice.  

The Small Things In Life

The awkward eye contact car game

Catching someone's eye on public transport when you both find something hilarious and that wonderful secret smile that passes between you

Planning evil ways to wake your friends up who have fallen asleep in the car

Seeing someone trip over and look around to find that yes, you did see and yes, you are laughing

Giving a homeless person a sandwich and seeing their smile and look of complete gratitude on their face

Receiving ANYTHING for free

Finding a ten pound note on the floor

Being offered the last crisp from a friends packet

Doing a clothes swap to spice up your wardrobe...with your friends old clothes (heck, it's free!)

Finding your favourite lippy at the bottom of your handbag

Have a friend who hasn't spoken to you in a while send a message saying "I miss you"

Having someone Re-Tweet one of your Tweets

Receiving a hand written letter from a friend or relative

The smell of a new book

Fresh bed linen

Opening a box of chocolates and picking all your favourite ones out before anyone else can touch the box....or is that just me?

Kicking a fresh pile of crispy leaves on your way home

Jumping in a puddle in your wellies

Tax rebate

There are so many things in life to smile about so I don't understand why a lot of the world is going around with a frown attached to their face. I am making it my own personal quest to make people feel happier in life so if you see me in the street grinning like a wild person, please just amuse me and pretend it is working. I am making the rest of this year about keeping positive so watch out for a lot more positivity in all your lives and watch this space <3 font="">

The Day The Office Blew Up....

.....okay, not literally blew up, but it may as well have!

So as you all have read, I am currently working on a show in the West End and most nights I don't get out of the theatre (and bar...) 'til gone midnight so coming into work is usually a big struggle.

When I finally managed to get to work (the traffic was appalling, what should have taken 1 1/2 hours took a grand total of 3 1/2) I was stressing out about being late, the trains also didn't help my nerves as they decided to stop for a good 10 mins per station....there is no need for that TFL, humpf--- I had a LOT to catch up on so ran into the office and WHACK, straight into a delegate. Good start, I thought to myself as I spoke my apologise, turned around and there he was, Arm straight out in front of him, coffee cup in hand and the entirety of his drink down his trousers and up the wall. Bollocks. Really good start Miss Gardner!!

Having cleared up the now slightly brown tinted wall and offered a towel to the lovely coffee stained gentlemen, I got back to work. Sat down at my desk and took a few moments to myself before cracking on. Half an hour or so later, I turn around to see my colleague stood in the doorway of the office soaked from head to toe.

We all burst into absolute hysterics, and when we finally managed to get out of him what the problem was, he said "Just come and look..." We all walk into the bathroom to a swimming pool, not a floor. In our office we have automatic taps and the central one decided it didn't want to turn off today so my colleague (lets call him D), D tried to fix the problem by unscrewing the tap. It spurted all up the walls and into his face hence the dripping man in our office. We grabbed towels and mopped the place up laughing the entire time (well, D wasn't but I certainly found it hilarious). I then decided to give the tap a look over....And fixed it within seconds....Who knew I was a plumber?! The look on D's face was something I couldn't possibly describe to you.

So, having tidied everything up, we settled down yet again to do more work. But as most of you can agree, things tend to happen in threes. Low and behold, the 3rd was to shortly follow in the form of forks.... It seems people steal forks from this place. Weird. I know.

Anyway, it never seems to be a dull day here and things go wrong on the daily. Good job we can all laugh about it hey?

Until next time, Ta-Ra

Bubble Bathtime Banter

Today has been one of those days where the last thing you want to do before going to bed is have a lovely, long, relaxing bubble-bath. So, having eaten dinner, watched the new series of Atlantis (which is AMAZING, everyone should watch it), had a cup of tea and eaten my favourite dessert, I went upstairs to run myself a bath. I put in a new 'smelly', one of my sister's as I couldn't find my peppermint one, and went to get my hair dye.

I spent a good 10 minutes at the mirror applying my new colour, making sure it was spread evenly through my hair, I turned round just  in time to catch my shower hose spraying water all over the bathroom. Bit of back ground here; my taps don't work, haven't for ages, so we run baths with the shower. Most of the time it behaves itself and will stay in the bath without problems, but today it took the opportunity to catch me at precisely the worst moment possible---hair dye all over my face and gloves, I rushed over to grab the hose, my hands being slippy from the applying of said hair dye, it took a few seconds to grab firmly onto the shower hose. Hair dye now all over the bath and shower, I put the hose between my knees to keep it steady whilst i took my gloves off. I then thought it a great idea to reach over for my towel...on the other side of the room. So clearly water goes everywhere AGAIN, I fall over naked as a baby, trying to point the hose in the direction of the bathtub whilst mopping up hair dye and water around me in the process. 

Eventually, I made it to the, now full, bath, sliding down into the beautiful heat around me, I stumble across another dilemma; I cant lean against the back of the bath otherwise I would get hair dye all over it. Crumbs. So another great idea pops into my head....I am going to shave my legs to keep myself entertained (you must think me one hell of a boring person if entertainment comes from shaving ones legs. It has been a long day my friends). I prop one leg on the side of the bath, add shower gel, lather up my legs....and start to slide down into the soapy suds. Oh for goodness sake, can I NOT catch a break tonight?! Having finally managed to shave my legs (sort of successfully) and still not get my hair under the water---a big achievement I must say, I checked my phone to see I had left my hair dye on a little longer than planned, so I go about washing it out and it is a little darker than expected, but that's fine. 

I jump out of the shower, wash down the sides of the bath and clean up the rest of the hair dye (mum and dad if you are reading this, it didn't look like a crime scene in the bathroom, I promise...) I jump into my pjs and settle down with a nice cup of tea...to find I smell like a BLOODY CUSTARD CREAM!?!?! Humph. Another day, another first world problem. Tomorrow, I will chose a shower.

The Ghosts of Kings Cross

All of us are going to die one day. So if we all live like our last day was yesterday.....that would make us all ghosts. And we could scare the crap out of each other by walking through walls and appearing randomly. When I was walking through kings cross I walked past the clock with the exact time of a group of people dying during as a tribute to a fire which took place many years ago and it got me thinking about the thousands of people who walk through this station and how many millions before them. Which led my crazy mind to start thinking about the ghosts that would 'patrol' the corridors of kings cross.... I'm guessing most people have stopped reading now, but for the few fun crazy people like myself who are still reading I apologize for the way my mind works..... Here goes.

So, anyway, as I walked through Kings Cross from the Northern Line to the Hammersmith and City, I saw this clock and I started to imagine all of these people from different eras wondering around. Let me tell you a few stories I made up.

The gentlemen with only one leg dressed fully in WW2 uniform, a backpack on and crutches walking into the safety of the bunker below. He acknowledges no-one yet a young lady offers an arm. He briefly looks up to see a gorgeous set of bright red lips stood in front of him (a body attached of course but go with me on this one....). His somber face cracks the briefest of smiles and a very polite, slightly northern "alright love?" He allows her help and a love story concurs. 

The nurse coming underground from a hard days work, long black coat wrapped tightly around her, a red scarf and black court shoes. She is carrying nothing. She is thinking about the patient who died in her arms today, a lovely young boy, aged only 14, who had been caught in a house fire, his face badly scarred and always slipping in and out of consciousness. He responded well to this nurse who read him to sleep every night. She missed last nights shift due to bad weather conditions keeping her snowed in at home. She came in this afternoon to find him holding on, just to see her pretty face one last time. They say don't get attached to your patients but there are those who you will never forget.

The teenager who wants to get away from the biting cold if only for an hour or two. Too proud to beg for anything, he sits at the bottom of the stairs hiding away from the hundreds of people who ignore him. He has no shoes on. Another boy walks past, stops briefly, takes out a spare pair of trainers he has in his bag and a sandwich, gives it to the teenager and walks away without saying anything. What this stranger didn't know was that he had made this boys night and he would find a nice sheltered door way to sleep with a smile on his face that night.

The busker who once played violin at the last night of the proms but cannot seem to find work now. She plays some of the most heart wrenching music, a few passers by stop to listen, drop a few coins in and walk on. Later, as the tubes close down for the night, she will go and find herself a small cafe and order one tea and a slice of cake with the money she made. She doesn't perform for the cash, she performs for the people and her love of music.

.....now I am back to reality. Can you just imagine if this was so, if these ghosts walked the hallways of Kings Cross living the same moment every day, completely oblivious to everyone else around them? Or am I just crazy? Who knows? Happy thinking 

It's all a-buzz in Clophill

My family, being as insane as we are, decided to take part in a scarecrow competition in our village and my Dad being my Dad....took things one step too far. As per usual.

Dad doesn't like doing things by half so when Mum came up with the idea of a scarecrow bee-keeper dreaming of 'people' bees (don't ask) the creation began...

...with Dad re-creating places of our little village into bee related puns. And so we had The Stone Bug pub, a classroom in a the school, OAB hive and just to put the comb in the honey Dad only went a built a bloody castle for the Queen Bee. 

With this mini project starting out as a bit of fun, we got a bit serious. A trip to Hobbycraft happened to buy eyes for the bees, my sewing machine came out to make a mini bee cloak for the queen and mini bee curtains for the OAB hive and then we went one further still and made glasses for the OAB's themselves.

My father and friends, being the punny people they are, couldn't resist the appalling jokes which naturally come attached to such things; "It looks bee-ta-full", "How does a bee get to school? By Buzz", "Where does a bee go on holiday? Stingapore". And then we went further and NAMED the bees--- the Bobee (which is chasing a freakin' wasp stealing nectar for goodness sake), the Bar-Bee, the Babees, the list continued and it all got a little bit too much, I think we started to go a bit crazier than normal as I am STILL having bee puns with fellow pun enthusiasts 2 weekends later...

With us being the way we are, we knocked the nectar out of the flower and I think it is safe to say we won! Until the next time bloggers, it is Halloween around the corner after all... we do a damn good pumpkin patch. Stay tuned xxx

Joyously British

A few nights ago I was driving home at about midnight and was listening to Radio 2 and they were talking about being "Joyously British" and it got me thinking; how can we say as Brits we are joyful when all we seem to do is complain or we open a newspaper to find depressing stories about a paedophile who planned to abduct, abuse and eat a child, or a woman who's house got burnt down with her 3 children inside, or a family who abused their 4 year old son so badly that he died at 1.5 stone. These things just don't seem so Joyously British to me. So I'm going to tell you what I believe is truly joyful about being a Brit and why I am proud of this country.

Let's start with the food side of things - afternoon tea. This is purely blissful. Sometimes my housemates and I will just pop the kettle on and make a pot of tea and sit at the kitchen table with homemade cakes and sandwiches just because we can and a cup of tea makes everything better. Fish and chips, a good old English classic. Walking along Brighton pier all wrapped up against the wind, the gorgeous sea air whipping your hair across your face and a nice big hearty bag of fish and chips to accompany you. Pretty picture yes? And my third favourite, an English classic - a Sunday roast with all the trimmings; beef, Yorkshire puds, peas, carrots, broccoli, stuffing, roast tatties and lashings of gravy. Perfect for a cold winters day yet still just as perfect in the middle of summer.

Another reason why I love being British is the Royal Family. I wouldn't say I am a royalist but I love that we still have a royal family and I support this completely and love the tourism that gets brought into London for the love of the queen. Just look how many people from all over the world turned up in London for the royal wedding. That just goes to show how amazing this small island is.

Other reasons for loving the Brit in me is that we love to queue. Recently I went on holiday with a girlfriend and as polite as the British are, we waited in a queue for food only to have every other nation barge in front and help themselves rudely to what they should have waited for. "well don't you just love being British, we are definitely the most polite nation" --- safe to say my friend got a few glances at this comment.

Also to come out of Britain are some of the best musicians known to man who changed the face of music; The Beatles. When asked by a friend of mine "who is better known, the Beatles or Queen"  stupid question my friend. Although Queen are amazing and lyrically phenom, The Beatles changed the pop world. Everyone can name at least 5 Beatles tracks, will hate yellow submarine and have heard so many covers they wouldn't know how to deal with it. This band can make anyone laugh or cry and just think about life and in my eyes they are sound! In their time they were known for their love of creating music all over the world, not for twerking inappropriately.

Anyway, I am a Brit and I am a lover of life. There are so many things I could write about why I love being British, but I think the most amazing thing for me is that this country has so much to offer from its land and the history of this country is so beautiful that you just can't take enough time to explore it. With this, I am going to spend a few weeks in the new year exploring different parts of Britain, painting the scenery and writing a lot. Happy Reading. 

Going Underground?

The underground seems to have a lot of unwritten rules that, if aren't followed, can turn into a very unfortunate train journey indeed.

This morning on my way in to work, it was the usual rush of people cramming themselves into a carriage so tight that, from the outside, it looks like some form of clown car with people piling in and out at their relevant stations. Fortunately I managed to get on first time at 8am....but got stuck right in the middle of the carriage so when my first exit came.... I couldn't get off. Luckily I have picked up the Londoners rude ways of not saying "excuse me" nice and politely, but barging through, my umbrella brandished in front of me as my only form of weapon. Now, this reminds me of those happy mums with pushchairs, ramming people's ankles if you get too close and forcing their way through the crowds of the bumbling underground. I have a theory ; most of these women have dolls in there. Not children. Maybe I should get a pram....

So, having managed to get off at Kings Cross, I knew the worst leg of the journey was yet to come .... The Hammersmith and City line at 8.25am. Kill me now. So I fought my way through the crowds, girls with pointy elbows jabbing into my sides and men with briefcases and backpacks swinging them around (I really am surprised there isn't a battle cry for the morning commuters) and missed 2 trains before finally managing to be one of the sardines on the 3rd train to go by. Eventually, 1 stop later I managed to squeeze past and make my way out. And whilst walking in the 'fresh' London air after this morning routine, it got me thinking about the etiquette of the tube.

When standing up in a packed train, people try their damned hardest to do a few things :
1. Whatever you do, do not catch other people's eye. It ends in an awkward battle of 'please don't think I'm weird' between the 2 of you so you admire their shoes instead 

2. Make everything as small as possible so as not to touch anyone  around you 

3. Read the metro over someone's shoulder and pray they don't catch you doing it 

4. Don't talk. Just. Don't. People will look at you like you are some form of alien. The one time I spoke to someone on the tube when first moving to London I regretted it hugely!! That's a story for another time.... 

5. Don't smile at people. Everyone on the tube has a thought in common "I would rather be anywhere else right now" so yay for the grumps that know they are all thinking that, yet won't acknowledge it

I'm not entirely sure which I prefer ---morning trains or the last tube home which is packed full of drunken, loud, obnoxious men who think they are gods gift to women.

Last Christmas on the tube home from a party, I bumped into one of these men. In a bright Christmas jumper no less who decided it would be a good idea to start singing Fairytale of New York down the train at me. I say 'at me' because I kept my head down and wished more than anything that I had my headphones!! As he threw himself down next to me I had to endure a 20 minute journey of trying to not throw up from the vile smell coming from his breath where he had clearly projectile vomited somewhere recently, make up a fake name and number and finally had to run away at my stop because he thought it was a good idea to try and walk me home. Now that, you lovely gentlemen, is how to woo a girl.

There are many weird and wonderful stories I could tell you but I fear I may be here all day. As I sit on the tube now with 2 more stops to go. All I can think is "thank you Big G for the invention of vino"

Charity Shopper Stopper

On the second day of arriving in Edinburgh, we decided to go out for a team lunch at a lovely pub around the corner from the apartment. When we left it was beautiful sunshine, we all didnt bother taking out jackets and were all wearing sunglasses. When we left the pub....it was chucking buckets. 

So what to do when it is raining cats and dogs? Go charity shopping of course. Myself and Bedside have a massive addiction to charity shops so when we spotted 10 on the opposite side of the road, we rushed over to the cash point to get out money. Getting absolutely drenched on the way I might add. 

I was instructed to find some "adult clothes" for Little Leaf so was trawling through looking for a lovely dress for her when I get dragged over by one of the boys to be pointed out a gorgeous jumpsuit (who knew, men have such amazing fashion sense!!) so item number one was bought. The next shop we go. 

This time I head straight over to the men's jackets where Tophalf and Bedside were trying on beautiful suits. I am welcomed to a sea of "do you like this one?" and "which one is better?" so I put my designer hat on (not that it ever really comes off) and got picking out my favourite suit jackets....Only to be pulled from one shop into another by Magic. "I have found the PERFECT shoes for you" Intrigued, I follow him to find a gorgeous pair of office brogues at just £7. Low and behold they are the perfect fit so I went up to the counter with them, massive grin on face to find that, actually, I can get them for £5. Oh the beauties of being a chatty girl with a male shop assistant. To the next shop we go.  

Little Leaf and I head straight for the skirts and find some really classy, floral prints, so I wait outside whilst she tries them all on. We finally decided on a little peach one when Magic comes  into said shop and drags me out again. "Look what I found" For those of you know don't know me, I shall tell you now, I love Berol pens. They are beautiful and slightly felt-tip like, but thin enough to write with, they are basically my ideal pen. Moments before I had been saying how you just dont find them anymore but upon being dragged into another shop I am shown 3 Berol pens. Good find Magic Man!! I go back into the shop where I left Little Leaf to find her paying and we head into the next shop..... And see that everyone has disappeared. At this point of the trip, I had NO idea where on earth we were so prayed we were walking in the right direction to find all the boys trying on mustaches in a joke shop. Never a dull day in TheatreLand!! 

Toast, Monopoly and Scotch Bonnets

Here we have it....another few stories to add to the ever growing pack of Edinburgh Antics. As we were all poor (and still are....) lowly people living up in Edinburgh, we decided to entertain ourselves most evenings so as not to 1. Drink ourselves into oblivion by 5pm every night and 2. Not to spend money we all didn't have.

As I previously mentioned, I was living with 1 other girl and 8 guys so, of course, many a joke had to be played... One 'joke' that stands out quite vividly for me is one that happened quite early on. Bedside was dared to eat 6 pieces of buttered toast in 10 minutes. Easy. Anyone would think so....surely. Well, said challenge was accepted and after the first 4 pieces, he couldn't handle anymore. Everyone just assumed he was being a massive wimp, so, P'ree accepted the challenge of 2 pieces in 1 minute. Half a piece down and he too gave up. Magic then stepped up to the mark of 1 piece in 30 seconds. Half a piece later and he also gave up. What we failed to realise was sat in the corner were Dogwig and Tophalf giggling away to themselves.... they had only gone and smothered the butter with salt..... and given Bedside salt poisoning in the process. Poor guy had to throw his life up a few times, turn green and hide away under a duvet for the rest of the night. BOYS.... Jokes can sometimes go too far.... maybe this was one of those times. 

In Edinburgh, as I am sure a lot of you know, it rains.... too much. So, to keep ourselves entertained we decided to play a game of Monopoly. Not normal Monopoly I might add, no, they wanted to play drinking Monopoly. The rules went as followed
1. If you roll over a 6....drink
2. if you pass go...drink
3. if you land on someone elses property....drink
4. if you land on free parking....drink a shot of whiskey 

.....and so it continued. Myself and Little Leaf couldnt keep up so went for a nap. When we came back there were only 2 players left in the game and 2 bottles of gin, a bottle of whiskey, 1 bottle of red wine, 1 bottle of white and 1 bottle of tequila along with about 12 cans of beer all gone and 4 very drunk men trying to beat each other at a never ending drinking game......all before 9pm. 

And finally, another way to keep ourselves entertained was the the use of comedy. One day, Bedside came back to the apartment with a bag of Scotch Bonnet Chillies. These chillies are the 7th hottest in the world and he challenged Magic to do the Scotch Bonnet challenge. This challenge consisted of taking the stalk off the chilli, putting it in whole in your mouth, chew it for 30 seconds, swallow and not drink anything for 5 mins. This was an insanely funny 5 minutes for everyone apart from Magic as he got the hiccups, eyes streaming, runny nose, the whole shabang whilst trying to explain to the camera exactly what was happening. It got even more insane when Dogwig said "He wouldnt do another one"....never challenge Magic, he WILL accept it, so in he popped another chilli much to our amusement and horror. I have honestly never seen anyone look in so much pain for the next 3 hours. Lesson to oneself? NEVER do the Scotch Bonnet challenge, you will get laughed at.

The Trial....Quite Bloody Literally

Steven Berkoff’s adaptation of The Trial is something I really enjoyed working on in my second year of uni as we did a show with 52 actors, 12 directors and about 20 designers and it is something I will never forget working on so when I saw that The Trial was going to be on at our venue in Edinburgh I was so excited to go and see it, it was at midnight as well which made it a slightly drunken affair at that.

Well….it BLOODY WELL WASN’T THE TRIAL!! Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about it was wrong to the point where I nearly walked out 20 minutes into the show.

1.      The set was just a white box….we were in a cave for crying out loud, there is SO much they could have done with the setting but instead they put white paper all over the walls and floor. Idiots.

2.      They were multi role playing….BADLY! All of their characters sounded the same and it annoyed me to NO end that the only person who was American was the main character and the others were all cockney English, it made no sense what so ever.

3.      They completely changed one of the sexiest characters in the entire show into an old washer woman so goodness only knows what the heck they were trying to do there.

4.      Don’t even get me started on the costumes or I will rant for an eternity…..

5.      Half the cast looked like they had forgotten their lines the entire way through

6.      The Trial is very wordy….SO THEY CHANGED THE SCRIPT

7.      There was absolutely no enthusiasm on the directing front, I don’t even know where they were going with it but there was no movement the whole way through, it was stand up, sit down, try and do things in sync and fail miserably.

And to make it even worse I had dragged two of the actors from our little team of awesomeness along to see what I thought was a brilliant show, for them to walk out going “ummmm….what in god’s name was that supposed to be about?” Safe to say when we went postering at 1am I was stomping up and down that mile getting out my frustration at an hour wasted. Where is the silver lining to this story…..? On the stage of The Trial, where the border of the stage.... was silver. 

The Man That Never Rested.....

One of the guys in Edinburgh had ....how to put this.... Very interesting sleeping patterns. Not only does he snore like a steam train, he sleep talks, moves and has conversations with you randomly. Many a story to tell here.

Waking the Magic Man up was always a difficult affair as you couldn't ever tell if he was awake or just sleep talking. On the first morning of the show we started the ridiculous shower rota which started with me at 7.30 and finished with Magic at 9.10. At 9am Bedside decided it would be funny to wake him up with "your car, your car it's on fire, it's being stolen" Magic started wafting his hands on the air saying "painting, painting, I'm part of it" swiftly followed by punching Dogwig in the face. All of this he had no recollection of and his face was that of pure serenity the entire time. (I must admit this version does not do the hilarity of it justice but good luck imagining this in our tiny little living area....)

Other stories include the time Bedside force fed Magic 3 cans of red bull to him whilst sleeping....safe to say he woke up buzzing. His love for drinking water was also another sleeping adventure as he pretty much threw an empty glass of water at his face waking up to me videoing him, trying not to make a noise whilst laughing (to those of you who love to laugh in situations where it is NOT appropriate you would have pissed yourself in this situation) "ahh, what are you doing...?" 

Magic's air bed was let down one morning accompanied with him saying "going down....ground floor" 

Paree even tried to hypnotize him every morning just before he woke up with "it's time for your kung fu lesson". By the last day Magic's reply was "Yes, I know!".....in a month this was very impressive as we only told him a few days ago, no idea bless 'im! 

I dont know how this poor man EVER rested as he continuously moved ALL OF THE TIME!!! I am very surprised he didnt cause himself or anyone else any damage whilst in Edinburgh, instead we just got some BRILLIANT stories. Thank you for providing a month of hilarity Magic Man. 

Keep posted for more Edinburgh Fun Times......

Edinburgh Fun Times

Well. It's safe to say that August has been the most intense month ever!! I live with 5 people in their own separate rooms and that was enough to drive any sane girl mad. Now fortunately enough for everyone in Edinburgh, I am very much INsane so living with 8 people in a 2 bedroom apartment for a month drove everyone else crazy!

Now, luckily I got on really well with everyone and there were never any real arguments. Not sure if that was because we all genuinely liked each other or if we knew we had to endure each other's company in close proximity for 30 days and nights (10 short of an Easter trial, I think we should get brownie points big g....) but either way, it was not as bad as the boys make it out to be.

This is where the beauty of being a girl ccomes in. There were only 2 of us lovely ladies so we got our own room thank fudge sticks and lluckily she was tiny so didn't take up much room, so tiny in fact that she got the nickname Little Leaf presented to her pretty quickly upon arrival. When the couple's started arriving we got kicked out of our little girlie nest and put into the boys room.... With the snorers.... Not. Impressed. If it hadn't been for those wonderful quies ear plugs there would have been a murder on our hands! Speaking of which, that brings me to one of the many interesting stories from this trip.....

Us girls got attacked by the boys a lot!! Whether it was out of boredom or just for comedy sake I will never know but on one of these glorious afternoon's Little Leaf was getting attacked by dogwig. Little leaf has one hell of a set of lungs on her so naturally was screaming to be let go. An hour or so later we hear a knock at the door and find two police officers there. We are all in a bit of a daze as we are up early for the shower Rota and show so trying to get a nap before hitting the venues later. "we got a complaint about someone screaming for help. They said it sounded like they were underground. Have you heard anything?" at this point I'm trying desperately not to laugh at this bizare situation. "ummm, nope haven't heard anything. Good luck though" shuts door. Hysterics follow as we all know it was us and that this was just the beginning..... A month of stories to follow. Watch this space.

Keeping it Creative

I am currently taking part in the new horror comedy of "The Curse of Elizabeth Faulkner" which is up in Edinburgh for the entire month of August. When first offered the role of costume designer and prop collector, I was over the moon as I have been given the opportunity to be a part of one of the most phenomenal festivals in the creative world.

Arriving into this bubble of awesomeness, I discovered that you can talk to anyone on the street here and have something in common. With thousands of actors, performers, directors, technicians and designers all around you, the excitement of the bringing together of the love of art and performance would make even Big G look down and see a huge amount of light and energy escaping the city of Edinburgh, forcing its way into the sky and saying "Look at me!!!" 

With such an incredible amount of shows to choose from, it is physically impossible to see them all, however, I will see as much as I can (as long as it is free.... I am a poor student after all) and let my mind be opened to the wonders of theatre. And most of all, I will make friends and have the most amazing time I possibly can.

If ANYONE in the world of the arts should do anything? Come up to the Fringe, enjoy the energetic atmosphere and come and watch our tale of comedy and horror set in a very unnerving (and I swear haunted....) venue. Laugh and enjoy the silliness and fun that theatre has to offer. May The Curse continue....

The Inspiration of Essex

Having just finished watching Jamie Oliver's On The Road American Journey, I feel mightily inspired to share the art of food with you all. My favourite dinner party is an Italian feast, but not as you all may know it....

Having been going to Italy for the last 5 or so years, I have discovered that Italian food is not your typical pizza and pasta, it is much better!! Everything is bought and sourced locally and a dish can be named the same but taste completely different just 3 miles down the road. Anyway, I am going off topic... Jamie Oliver met some amazing people whilst in New York and one thing he did was go to a strangers house for an anti-restaurant evening.

This 'Anti-Restaurant' was in the house of a local couple who wanted people to experience good food but not to be chucked out of a restaurant as soon as the plates were cleared away, so he decided to do something similar in his flat in NY.

So, I propose to do something of a similar nature; bring some strangers together from all over London, people who enjoy good quality food and fancy meeting other people and hopefully make some new friends. If anyone fancies doing something similar, please reply to my blog. I hopee to speak to some of you soon! 

I did it...

My first blog on  here, I wrote about how I wanted to design and make my own dress from scratch... Well, here you have it ladies and gentlemen, one dress designed and made by me:

Having designed and made one... I decided I wanted to try and make more. So now I have set up a facebook page, called it Sage28 and have decided to not only make clothes but to try and sell them too! Please like my page to see my designs and creations:

https://www.facebook.com/charlie.sage.28

Every single item is completely unique as I only use the fabric I acquire to make 1 dress, so no-one will be wearing the same clothes as you--EVER! 

I hope you enjoy browsing. Stay tuned for new creations :) 

Try The Royal Free

Having watched Keeping Britain Alive, a day in the NHS I have discovered a great and deep respect for the NHS.

What has happened in the last 11 hours? I have waited. A lot. And it is absolutely no-ones fault. I arrived at A+E on Tuesday the 21st May 2013 at 11am... It is now 10.15pm as I write this. Today I have seen a fair amount happen just from sitting in a hospital bed.

I have met 2 lovely doctors in training; one took my blood and the other put a canular in--- both were very amusing to watch!! The blood test was simple enough until it got to the dressing, it took the poor guy 10 minutes to find a plaster so I was sat with my right arm wrapped in one of the biggest bandages I have ever seen for a blood test. Then the canular went in. It went in just fine but my veins decided that today it was going to bleed everywhere so I was left with a casual blood spot on my bed! Leggings ruined and top blood splattered, it looked a little like something out of a horror movie. This was only made funnier for me when the doctor had to do a check of my stomach as he wasn't entirely sure how to ask about the blood so I got a "umm, is that, umm, I mean, I'm hoping that was from your blood test?". To my horror I realised he thought it was from "aunt flow".

Having been waiting in A+E for a bed for the last 11 hours I have discovered a few things; there are a lot of ill people in this world, I worry too much about wasting NHS time and money and the nurses here are damn lovely, kind and patient people. I would like everyone to think about how brilliant their lives are when sitting in an outpatients ward as the people around you are doing everything they can to fix this world. (Some of them will just leave you hungry in bed for 12 hours though---those are the nurses that just forget about you apparently!!) Anyway, Bigging up the NHS!!!

Pain, Doctors and Shortbread Biscuits

The last few weeks have been an interesting few. I may have mentioned before, but I am one of many who suffer from Crohn's Disease. It is not contagious, although according to my housemates you can catch food intolerances, well, what can you do? The basic way in which to describe Crohn's is that my intestines hate me and an even better way to describe it is "my insides are squeue-whiff".

I have managed to stay symptom free now for nearing a year, so, of course, it had to strike again just when I really needed it not to! For the last 2 weeks I have been in constant tummy pain, not being able to eat much, drinking alcohol is out of the question and going out with friends seems to be becoming impossible. It's all a bit sad really. So, having decided to finally go to the Drs expecting to be put on steroids straight away, was told "more bloods, MRI scan, appt with the Gastro Team and worst-comes-to-worse, let's get you back into hospital"--- Ummm.. No ta! So now the wait for doctors begins.

In the mean time I have decided to try out a new very strict regime of food. I am on a basic diet anyway, of no dairy, eggs, gluten, wheat, yeast or mushrooms as these all cause a flare up for me, so I am basic-i-fying my diet even more- 1 week on water, chicken, rice, potatoes, broth and shortbread biscuits.

If anyone can please give me some advice on pain relief, or can share their stories with me I would be most grateful!! 

Love to you all that may read this xxx

The World of Crohn's

I am sat in my bed

huddled up,

sore,

my stomach keeps on turning

is there a cure?

I want to scream,

I want to cry,

please will it stop

I'm struggling 

I want the pain to subside.

it's ridiculous,

I feel like an idiot,

there are people with more problems than me

but I can't help feeling rubbish

all I want is a hug 

for someone to look after me.

I'm glad I have my loved ones

my family and friends,

my lovely boyfriend Mathew

I will be fine again.

Just a moment longer and the pain will pass

give me 5 more minutes

it will be back

and the same old bloody story

will go straight back to the start.

Slutty Brownies

I am a Pampered Chef consultant. Being a Consultant consists of finding wonderful recipes, going to peoples houses, showing the wonderful products of Pampered Chef and eating the food. Best job ever if you ask me.

At a show I did last night, we decided to do 'Slutty Brownies'. Why are they so slutty? I can hear you thinking... and, if you ask me, the reasoning behind the name is because of the ridiculously high calorie content, but my god they are worth it!!

Here are the ingredients:

1 ready made cookie dough pot
1 box of chocolate fudge brownie mix
1 egg
2 packets of oreos

How to make it:

mush the cookie dough so it sits flat in the bottom of the pan.
place a layer of oreos
pour on the brownie mix with the egg and a splash of water added together
cook in the oven until slightly crispy on the top and very gooey in the centre....and eat!!

This is pure joy in your mouth and I have never heard a room of 20 year olds go so quiet before in my life---the only noise that could be heard was the clank of spoons to plate and the satisfactory sounds escaping their mouths at regular intervals.

Please, everyone, ANYONE, try this recipe and change your life forever.

The only down side? I am very intolerant to wheat and milk. I shall not complain about the fact I fee like the hangover from hell has hit me with a great force as the beauty that was held on my tongue for just those few moments makes my mouth water like there is no tomorrow.

Pole Bouncing

As we were sat in Veggie World last night, we discussed a wide range of topics from what I am up to at Uni at the moment, what my sister is up to with her Cooking Van, but my favourite topic of conversation was about a certain young gentleman and a bus shelter....

This poor guy, hoody up, trying to be uber cool, was walking towards our family friend paying no attention whatsoever and of course, walked straight into the bus shelter. We all thought this mighty funny and moved on with our choice of conversations.

Minutes later outside the restaurant, I was talking to our family friend who decided to sit in our car. Now, those of you that may know me will know I am the sort of person to make everything dramatic, so in typical Charlie form, I flamboyantly flounced off giving said friend a bit of the old evil stare. In the process of giving evils, and walking away, I discovered an object in my path....too late.

A pole.

A very real, very solid pole.

Not only did I bump into this pole, my whole body wrapped itself around it, and promptly ricocheted away from it leaving a Charlie shaped mark and a damn big bump on my head. Having spun around with a look of pure shock on my face, my eyes streaming from the shock of the hit and my knee starting to feel the pressure too, I realise my entire family and our 2 friends have creased up and are crying with laughter. I then see a mental image of me bouncing into this pole over and over again and I start to laugh also....hysterically. I didn't stop giggling the entire 30 minute drive home. Eventful night my friends, and only me 'ey? Only me.... 

A Great Raging Hippie?

I was bought up being a Veggie---a fourth generation at that and I flippin love it! People who say that Vegetarians are 'boring', eat only vegetables and are basically hippies from the 60's, YOU ARE WRONG!! Once you meet my family you realise just how wrong this stereotype is.

My dad- makes gluten free, yeast free, dairy free bread and we call it a Cruffin. a Cruffin looks like an English muffin but when you cut it open it looks like an crumpet a.k.a. A cruffin (well it would sound odd calling it a Mumpit). He also has Bee Village in our back garden and has built them all mini-bee-mansions.

My mum- She became a veggie when she met dad and realised it was easier cooking one meal than two so has created so many gorgeous Tofu dishes and feels the need to feed anyone or thing that walks through the door. Now, mum has an allotment and over summer we eat only fresh fruit and veg and we get "pretty much everything on this plate I grew at the allotment". It is really refreshing having food that we know EXACTLY where it came from.

My sister- Following in my mum's footsteps she has become a cook, and a damn good one at that, she creates gorgeous home baked cakes for birthday's, cupcakes in beautiful flavours with stunning toppings, homemade jams and chutneys, sweets and many other flavourful goodies and sells them all as Dragon's Kitchen, her own business set up at the age of 15!

Me- I am a part time veggie and have destroyed the 4th generation that I am of veggie-ness, but I do my part for the Veggie world by going to Veggie-world, the most incredible Buddhist restaurant of all time which is mostly gluten free for our crazy intolerant family and obviously dairy and meat free also. 

....We even have a veggie dog..... Okay, maybe we are a stereotypical veggie family, but hey, I love my life. Off to Veggie-World we go, night y'all!